Do More Than “Like”
The other day a friend wrote, “I’m such a fan.” She wasn’t talking about a new movie, or the object you unfold and wave back and forth to cool off.
She was talking about me — about my ideas.
Wow. I have a fan. What a rush!
I felt so good when I read that. It made me feel supported, valued — important. Like I was contributing something worthwhile.
It also gave me a lot of energy. I felt so empowered to go do more of the same stuff she was a fan of — and it made me realize how important it is to have someone who is enthusiastic and verbal about it — because we rarely do it for ourselves.
Well, most of us don’t because we are conditioned to think that in most cases this is being narcissistic or self-centered to admire your own work and appreciate our approach or style.
It’s not. It’s called confidence.
But let’s face it, compliments and appreciation do feel good. And they trigger the release of happy hormones like serotonin and oxytocin for both the giver and receiver! (I love neuroscience — I really do.)
Ok, I’m sure there are those saying, “I don’t need someone else to validate me — I don’t care what others think of me.” If you are one of those blessed self-contained and confident individuals I have a request for you:
Go be someone else’s fan.
Go find someone else’s work that you can admire and TELL them. Tell them how much joy, insight, or whatever other great emotion it gives you. Be specific.
Do more than just “like”, “heart”, or “thumbs up” their work.
Then you’ll not only be increasing their energy to do more great work, but putting good karma out there in these crazy times.
Grow Hope
I was reminded recently of the metaphor of the mustard seed. It’s a tiny seed, but it grows into a large bush — sometimes up to several meters — providing a wonderful place of shade and a place for birds and bugs to nestle.
The mustard seed is a great metaphor for hope. When someone acknowledges our work — or efforts — it waters that tiny seed that has the potential to grow into a full blown amazing idea or real impact in the world.
It can create sustainable momentum.
Ok — so I’m not 100% sure about the good karma, but I do know that when people hear positive things about their work or share that appreciation with others — EVERYONE benefits in the end.
There’s a lot of positive psychology out there validating this idea. Tom Rath and Donald Clifton wrote the book, “How Full is Your Bucket? Positive Strategies for Work and Life” and it became a best seller.
Bucket or fan — the container doesn’t really matter. Just look at all the shows full of people screaming, “They’ve Got Talent!” Youtube is full of people looking for fans. All social media platforms are engineered to galvanize the power of “fandom”.
But you don’t have to go to the internet to find someone worthy. Look around you — at your friends, neighbors, co-workers, family members. I bet you’ll find someone worthy of your admiration.
The magic that happens when you intentionally appreciate something specific about a person’s work, contribution, or way of being is that it ripples out into the world.
This vibrational frequency of appreciation is like a tuning fork for positivity. The more you ring it, the better the world feels around you.
The key is that you do it without being attached to the outcome. Neutrality is crucial for you to actually be in the vibration of appreciation that will expand your vibration.
Holding onto the strings of expectation actually end up as energy leaks!
Let go of the outcome
Again, this is more than just throwing compliments around like confetti and it’s not about planting seeds for the hope that someone else will return the compliment (that’s not neutral). It’s the practice of intentionally noticing something that :
- truly brings you pleasure, joy, satisfaction, inspiration or optimism
- amplifying that by expressing it in an appreciative way
- shifts your own energy into a higher, lighter, vibration
Not sure how to give appreciation that is heart-felt? Try this warm-up:
- Notice what grabs your attention and then ask yourself what positive emotion it sparks. (productivity, lightness, inspiration…)
- Choose something tangible about the situation – the behaviour, the taste, the color, the melody, the scent or the sensation (soft, creamy) that is connected to the positive emotion.
- Put them together like a formula: Thank you + tangible thing + positive emotion description. For example, ‘Thank you, this coffee is so creamy and comforting.’ or ‘Thank you for being on time to the meeting. I feel productive when things start and end on time!’
These are super simple – maybe too simple for you. So, try something a bit more complex or challenging. What about when you are in a bad mood already and you intentionally choose to appreciate something about the situation?
Is the bus always late? Did they get your order wrong? Does the garbage smell? Here’s one way to appreciate all of that:
- Ok, now I have more time to appreciate and read this article on my phone.
- (After you point out the necessary change needed on your order – if possible.) Great, I can’t eat this, but maybe my neighor might enjoy it, they always do nice things for me. OR ‘Hmm, I think I’ll try something new. A chance to expand my taste bud range.’
- Great to know the bacteria is working to break down the food. Time to take it out of here and put it outside!
The point of all of this is to make apprecation something you naturally do. It doesn’t take bandwidth or energy after the muscle is conditioned. And what this does is create higher vibrational energy around you that eventually makes it’s way back to you.
My experience has shown me that we are all connected, so all acts (even thoughts!) ripple out from us and impact the environment around us. This gets reflected back to us in a way that either creates momentum (yes! more of that!) or causes blocks (yikes! stop that).
Maybe, if you are feeling invisible or rather down at the moment, try appreciating things – without expectation for an outcome – and allow yourself to feel good about noticing things that bring you positive emotions. No reliance on anyone else – other than your own intention.
And who knows, you just might find that someone is your fan.
Has anyone appreciated you lately? Have you shared an appreciation that gave you a surprising boost of positivity? Share it in the comments below so we can all benefit!